Bossy As A Human, Bossy As A Cat
by anxious.soul
Summary: In which Tony is turned into a cat and more or less torments most of the Avengers until it wears off.


**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers **

**Based on two anon prompts: 'Lost Tony cat found during a downpour in a carton by the team.' and 'Tony, protective Thor and Loki, a lot of hugs.' **

**Cross-posted on my AO3 with a collage.**

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The team had been battling a sorceress on a miserable Tuesday because all villains seemed to like causing chaos on said day. Seconds before they subdued her, she sent an icy blue glow towards Tony where it encased the Iron Man suit. The suit went soaring down into an alleyway just as Loki contained her magic.

Breaking away from the team as they handed the sorceress over to SHIELD agents, who had arrived for clean up and arrest, Thor wandered over to the alleyway where the Iron Man suit seemed to fall. Amongst the trash-filled alleyway, Thor found himself rushing over to a lifeless suit.

"Anthony?" He got no response, "Hello?" He knocked on the lid and watched as it slowly opened to show that no one was inside. "JARVIS? Are you there?" He then asked after standing abruptly and staring with concern etched across his face,

"Yes, sir." The AI responded several long moments later,

"Where's Anthony?"

"I do not know, I was temporarily forced to shut down after the spell hit. I believe sir manually opened the suit but I can not be sure."

"I see. Thank you for informing me, JARVIS. Would you be able to direct the suit home?"

"Of course, sir." The suit closed up and promptly took off, leaving behind a bewildered god. Where was Tony?

Behind him, Thor heard something move. Carefully, he walked over to the corner of the alleyway where there was a large pile of soaking cardboard. Most of it was flattened but there was a very small box that moved and shook ever so slightly. Crouching down, Thor went to lift a flap of the box when a shivering and wet cat popped its head out. Its fur was as dark as the night sky and his eyes were the colour of whiskey mixed with rich coffee as they stared deeply into Thor's soul eyes. The god knew those eyes.

"Anthony?" The cat meowed sadly and bowed its head as if he was nodding. Thor's eyes widened. "Shit." He muttered.

Gently, he reached out and lifted the small cat version of Tony and hold him close. He was drenched from the downpour and well, cats don't like water and Tony Stark most _definitely _doesn't like water, so you see the problem?

"It's alright." Thor murmured, he allowed his body heat helped warm Tony and Thor created a dome around them to stop the rain from getting to them. He wandered back to the group, who had all boarded the Quinjet, Thor could see Clint waving for him to get a move on.

"Why've you changed out of your armour?" Clint being Clint asked from where he sat in the pilot's seat but was ignored.

"We've got a debriefing," Natasha answered the unspoken question as Thor usually flew home after a battle,

"We've been trying to reach Tony too, but he isn't picking up," Steve added with his usual frown,

"That's because he can't exactly speak…" Thor murmured, "I sent the suit home with JARVIS and Tony…well, he got hit by the spell and…well…" The god reached into his top and pulled out the cat that had been warming up in there and sleeping, "he's a cat."

**—LINE BREAK—**

Silence. That was the response Thor got. Well, barring Tony's sad whine that is.

"Brother, may I hold Anthony?" Thor looked down at the small cat, who seemed to nod before handing him over to Loki. The God of Mischief ran a hand covered with green magic across the cat's back. "I see." He murmured to himself holding the cat close to his chest, "The spell will last for anywhere between six to twelve days. I suggest we have JARVIS order a few things. Anthony, whilst he is responding to our questions, he only has ten to twenty per cent of his human mind. His actions will mostly be feline." He informed everyone. The other Avengers still had yet to speak as they stared with wide eyes and some (Clint) with open mouths at the adorable cat burrowing its way up Loki's sleeve. It was an incredibly small cat, no doubt it was replicating human Tony's small stature.

"I suppose that explains why you've changed," Clint muttered although it was clear that he was still shocked by Tony's change.

**—LINE BREAK—**

Cat Tony was an utter…_nightmare_. No one was sure if it was simply Tony being Tony or if the cat mind had made him more annoying. Either way, no one could decipher human Tony from cat Tony, their personalities were _almost _exactly the same. In typical cat fashion, Tony would wander up on the counters knocking things over, he'd sleep _everywhere_, then once he'd lured you into a false sense of security leading you to think you could stroke him or tickle his belly, he'd _murder _you with his claws.

Loki thought cat Tony was the best thing ever.

So did Thor.

Bruce was indifferent, but the Hulk had appeared a few times and utterly _adored _cat Tony.

Steve, Natasha and Clint -_especially _Clint- thought he was evil incarnate.

**—LINE BREAK—**

Whenever cat Tony came near Clint, the moronic archer would always pick him up for cuddles. Tony would allow it at first, even going so far as to manoeuvre onto his back for some tummy tickles. As Clint's fingers would graze the cat's stomach, Tony would make his move and scratch and bite the man. Clint always fell for it, which was why there wasn't a single spot of unscratched or bloody skin on his arms and hands. If one were to look at the man's chest, they'd find _more _cuts.

"Hey, Tony." Clint murmured picking the cat up and allowing him to snuggle on his lap. Tony purred softly as fingers tickled his stomach. Had the archer been watching (and had he learned from past mistakes) he'd have seen the smirk crawl on the cat's face (can a cat even smirk?) and seconds later, Clint was howling in pain as another series of cuts ran down his arm.

"If you won't learn from your mistakes, Clint, then you don't deserve our sympathy and you do deserve the wounds." Was all Natasha said as she walked by and saw the pouting face of the Avenger's archer.

**—LINE BREAK—**

Steve was the other Avenger that Tony more or less picked on the most after Clint. Cat Tony would always be perched on the counter next to the blond when he was doing some paperwork or drinking something. Whenever Steve wasn't expecting it, Tony would strut over to him, wait until the blond was watching him and as the two stared into each other's eyes, Tony would knock Steve's drink to the ground -sometimes even the paperwork, which often ended up with Steve brutally murdering a couple dozen punching bags. Then after accomplishing his task of annoying Steve, the cat would walk away with a flick of his tail in Steve's face.

"Morning Tony." Steve greeted as the cat rubbed himself against the blond's legs before hopping up on the counter as the man sat down on one of the stools. Tony watched as the soldier pulled a newspaper out and like the old man he was he began to read it whilst sipping on a cup of tea that Tony may or may not have had a drink from (and then promptly spat back in because Steve is a heathen who doesn't drink coffee).

He watched until the captain was so lost in the news that he didn't notice Tony move closer until he was sitting in front of the man.

"Can I help you, Tony?" He asked exasperatedly, the cat just stared and Steve stared back. One paw moved swiftly to the left and before Steve knew it, his tea was travelling across the floor and his mug was smashed to pieces. Steve sighed and turned his stare into a glare. "I hate you." He watched as Tony sauntered off of the counter and walked away before turning to the mess and moving to clean it up.

**—LINE BREAK—**

Cat Tony was…_better _with Bruce. He knew not to upset his science-bro because he knew how the doctor felt about the Hulk coming out. That's not to say that Tony wouldn't flick his tail in the man's face causing his glasses to fall off. There was, however, the occasion where Tony tripped the doctor up and caused the Hulk to well appear.

Bruce had been on his way to bed after an exhausting twenty-four hours of no sleep due to an experiment when he tripped over Tony, who had wrapped himself around the doctor's feet. Grumpy already, it didn't take much for the Hulk to appear. The team had quickly stood and were about to get Tony out of the way whilst hopefully not causing the big green giant to get angered.

Tony ignored the group and just sat there staring up at the Hulk -if he could raise an eyebrow, that would be exactly what the human turned cat would be doing. Amber eyes locked onto lime green ones before the giant sat down heavily and with a grin. The Hulk reached out for Tony with a gentle finger and began to pet him. Tony _even _rolled onto his back for a belly tickle much to the delight of the childlike beast (and the annoyance of the others, who rarely got Tony to let them tickle his stomach).

**—LINE BREAK—**

Natasha. She was a different matter in the chaotic equation. Once Tony realised she adored him in cat form, he realised he could get away with messing with her. So he did.

Natasha felt incredibly betrayed.

It showed.

When she'd go to stroke him, he'd swiftly avoid her and move elsewhere for petting. Sometimes he'd let her have one stroke before he'd leave, most times he didn't let her hand come near him. Her expressions were always amusing to watch as he sat on either of the god's laps. For a spy, the fact that she would willingly drop her facade meant a lot to the team. So Tony was going to exploit it, of course. He'd watch as she stared at him, how her face would visibly drop and how after an array of emotions, she'd settle to pouting at him.

It was beautiful.

And Tony loved it.

It was movie night. Tony had been balancing across the back of the couch, he rubbed his face against Natasha's neck before plopping down next to her. He allowed her to scratch behind his ears twice and just as she went to run her hand down his back, he moved. Tail high in the air as he wandered across to the sofa occupied by both gods. From the spot between their legs, he watched as she stared longingly, he even purred as Thor ran his hand down Tony's back. He seemed to smirk from where his head was held high and his eyes were slanted as he watched Natasha's lips form a pout.

He was such an asshole and he took pleasure in that.

**—LINE BREAK—**

Which leads us to the god Avengers. Thor and Loki.

They were definitely Tony's favourites. He'd go to them for cuddles, they'd get the incredibly occasional scratch and the cat rarely, if ever, left their petting for someone else's.

In fact, when Tony wasn't off annoying the others, he was spending time with Loki and Thor, either draped on their laps or across their shoulders like a scarf. He was practically their tiny and adorable shadow.

"Anthony." Thor sighed when he caught sight of the cat sauntering into the gym with a smug air around him, "What have you done now?" He asked with a smile and a shake of his head as he picked the cat up. He placed Tony up on a shelf before going back to his workout. Tony curled into a ball and fell asleep, Thor had managed to place him in a spot that the sun hit perfectly.

Several hours passed as Tony caught up on the missing hours of sleep he -as a human- had avoided whilst Thor continued to power through his workout. Once the cat awoke, he wandered away in search of the trickster.

Loki was where he usually spent his day, the communal living room. He was curled up (rather like a cat) in the large armchair (that everyone fought over on movie night) reading. He didn't even look up as Tony elegantly jumped onto the chair and burrowed his way into the god's arms. Loki shifted slightly and ran a hand through Tony's dark fur, but he didn't acknowledge the human turned cat more than that and Tony had no problem with it as he simply fell back to sleep.

An hour passed before Tony woke up to Loki closing his book and shifting.

"Let me guess, you've done your daily 'annoying the others' and you've fallen asleep with Thor?" Tony yawned before meowing as if to agree. "I see you've had a successful day then." He smirked, before placing the cat on the ground, "Well, it's time for dinner now, so we best get up." Tony nodded his head and strutted away meowing for Loki to follow him. Somehow the god seemed to understand and simply shook his head. "Bossy as a human, bossy as a cat."

**—LINE BREAK—**

It was the twelfth day since Tony's _transformation_ when the spell finally broke. The genius woke up from where he'd fallen asleep the previous night, which was in Thor's bed (in his defence the god was incredibly warm hence the snuggling) and promptly stood up and wandered into the kitchen not even realising he was his normal self again.

Until he walked into the kitchen, cleared his eyes properly and realised that he could make himself coffee now.

Then there was a girlish scream. It never failed to surprise and amaze Tony (and the others) that Clint Barton, Mr Deep-Voice, could have such a high-pitched scream.

"What?" He croaked before coughing and spitting out a hairball much to his disgust,

"_Dude!" _Clint hissed looking anywhere _but _Tony. The genius continued to frown before looking down.

He was naked.

"Shit." He muttered because, of course, he'd be naked. His under-suit hadn't shrunk with him, he'd left that in the Iron Man suit all those days ago. But then, Tony simply snorted, "Barton, how old are you again? Surely you know what the male body looks like."

"Fuck you," Clint mumbled his face bright red as Tony laughed and walked away to get dressed.

**—LINE BREAK—**

"So, Tony, do you remember what it was like being a cat?" Natasha asked as the team sat down for breakfast,

"Depends. Will you kill me for my actions?"

"Maybe."

"Then I don't remember being a total ass and murdering Clint's arms and chest, nor do I remember breaking _all _those mugs and fucking up Cap's paperwork, I also don't remember teasing you and making you pout -not that you do pout, nor do I remember flicking Brucie-Bears glasses off of his face. I also forgot about the cuddles with Thor and Loki."

"I see." Natasha murmured with a smile,

"Hey, did we ever find out if the spell was supposed to turn him into a cat or if it simply went with the animal Tony 'related to' most?" Clint asked randomly,

"You never asked us that question," Bruce stated with a narrowed stare,

"And we don't know the answer." Steve continued causing the archer to shrug.

"Okay. But in all serious Tony, since you turned into a cat, I've noticed how much you act like a fucking cat in human form. It's so weird." It was Tony's turn to shrug.

"Well, I have been known for my sass, my snark, my annoying behaviour and my selfishness."

"Don't forget the whole 'I crave love and cuddles, but I refuse to accept it' thing," Thor added,

"Now that you say it, Barton, I can definitely see the similarities." Loki finished.

Laughter consumed the table that morning as everyone spoke about cat-Tony and the situation was filed under 'The-Weird-Things-That-Happen-Due-To-Missions' and honestly, that file was incredibly full with other shenanigans. So much so that not only was their files dedicated to each team member, there were also sub-categories, _many _sub-categories.

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** Here's my tumblr if you're interested, it also has the story collages: anxious- - -soul (no spaces between the dashes but sucks and wouldn't allow the dashes without spaces)**

**Anyway,**  
**Thank you for reading,**  
**Hope you enjoyed this,**  
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**Bye~**


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